May I be a fool

Some have wondered how a person who claims Jesus, wear's his name...highly indoctrinated & educated...and still claims faith...yet looks & acts in everyday life...quite a bit like any common street bitch... doesn't that make me a hypocrite?

I write this not in defense...for the Creator is my witness & the truth reveals itself...the following is a rough draft paragraph of a chapter in my childhood experience of "christian"...

"A big colorful school bus named the “Joy Bus” came through every Sunday morning & Wednesday evening, collecting neighborhood children, and taking them for indoctrination at McArthur Park Church of Christ.
At that time, they were a moderately growing congregation off Loop 410 in San Antonio TX. The bus was fun, the adults at first were pleasant, we sang songs & got treats & prizes for right answers & approved of behavior. I later returned as a young mother to discover the same indoctrination of a much larger Mega church version of the same said congregation. I learned to memorize my bible books and various verses. I learned the old old stories, from a particular point of view, of course. As it so happened, as Jim (father) had set precedent, the church reinforced that I was indeed valueless, a worthless sinner not deserving of the love of even that which created me. And boy did we try, they baptized me at least twice before we moved.

I learned to read scripture in such a way that it was fact, and that the moral lessons & laws that applied to keep the bad people in line. If the bad people listen to God followed all the rules, written & unwritten, revealed & hidden, and did so properly then they would be rewarded with Gods unconditional love and the proof would be that life would be wonderful, easy, happy & pain free. I was among the bad people, I never quite understood why I was, but I was."

I don't typically quote scripture for a number of reasons, primarily it was never meant to be read as a "how to book" or weapon but the following are a few of my favorites...

Galatians...vs from chp 3 & 5 ..."now that faith has come we are no longer subject to a disciplinarian, for in (by/because) Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith...there is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female, for you are all one in (by/because) Christ Jesus...For freedom Christ has set us free. Stand firm therefore and do not submit again to the yoke of slavery."

Corinthians...vs from chp 1..."For since in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, God decided, through the foolishness of our proclamation (announcement - not judgement, not contempt, not control, not enforcement, not guilt & browbeating, not guilt tripping or any other form of coercion) to save (salvation was a term that also was about mercy, justice, healing & wholeness not simply an afterlife) those who believe....God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, things that are not to reduce to nothing things that are so that no flesh might boast in the presence of God for God is the source of your life..."

Corinthians...vs from chp 13..."If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, Love never ends.......and now faith, hope and love abide, these tree; and the greatest of these is love.

I'm Happy to make clear...I still live among and am one of the "bad" people that where given value in the fact of their creation...As it turns out Jesus himself was most critical of the religious...he preached about justice & mercy, feeding & healing, walking, eating and partying with the "sinners" actively & publicly in defiance of the purity laws & customs of the day. Jesus lived among, befriended, made family of all the riff-raff...from tax collector, to hoe, from beggar to leaper...all those He Loved wink emoticon

If I be a fool may I be a fool as my bro was...as for my hypocrisy...that is for you to decide

smile emoticon